Mantras for Daily Living

· The only real control I have is the choice of my own thoughts, my own words, and my own actions.

· Control is the greatest illusion

· What can I let go of right now?

· I can choose how I react. I do not have to react right now.

These are some thoughts included in the book Living Your Yoga by Judith Lasater, Ph.D. P.T. This is one of my favorite books to read when I feel like my life is out of my control and I have fallen away from my daily yoga practice. These mantras are suggested at the end of the chapter on, you guessed it, control. These are some words to hang your hat on.

Right now there are a lot of changes probably about to happen in my family life. My son and his girlfriend are preparing for a move across country and my husband is possibly taking a job out of town. I am making the choice to not move but to stay here and just visit occasionally. A bit like when he went to sea when we were first married. Only this time there is the internet, cell phones, face time and cheap air travel!

Why all of this feels challenging is because I have no control. I have input into my husband’s choices but not in the situation itself. As the first Mantra states, “The only real control I have is the choice of my thoughts, words and actions.” The second mantra states that control is an illusion. It isn’t something we can hold or touch or manipulate. It is more of a “cosmic” effect.

The thing about control is the more you try to have it the less you actually get. When you choose to let go of the behaviors and reactions things actually start to shift and you begin to actually have control over a situation. We can’t force it. No more than we can force someone to do our bidding or we can force our bodies into a yoga posture because someone, or our ego, tells us we should. So I am practicing letting go. I am practicing letting others make their own decisions. I am practicing being present. I know that answers won’t come faster if I worry more or grit my teeth harder or ask my husband one more time, “have they called yet?” So why waste the energy? Why torture myself? Why live in the past or in the ‘what ifs?”? Life can already be hard why make it harder?

Besides the mantra that you can repeat when your mind starts to spin, try going to your mat. Move through a few posture to warm up your body and then consciously prepare to do a posture that you find difficult or uncomfortable. Go in and out of if a few times. Settle safely into the pose and then stay there in the discomfort (not pain or potential damage). If it is uncomfortable, ask why. Do a body scan or turn your focus to your breath. Then just let go of the need to control the outcome. Settle in and see what happens. When you release and stop forcing it do you actually start to enjoy the process? Can you be completely present with the posture and the experience? Chant one of the mantras while you breathe and stay in the pose. Slowly come out of it, do some compensating postures and then either sit or lie down and just breathe. Enjoy the stillness and quiet. Did you feel in control of your experience when you actually let go? If so, can you do that off the mat? Give it a try and so will I!

This isn’t about relinquishing responsibility for you life but letting go of forcing an outcome. As my husband says, “you can’t push a rope…”

Thanks for joining me,

Lauri